Sideways

I’m giving up, giving in, done. I’m tired of hearing about not looking back. I’m looking back. I like looking back, the good and the bad. I’m refusing to move forward, I’m not staying stationary either though. I’m moving sideways a bit. If I were to just continue forward I would be on the same road, the name may change but it’s the same old highway. I’m going to step sideways a bit before moving forward. I’ve loved, I lost, and I’ve gained. I’ve done some things everyone can relate to as well as some things no one can relate to. I figure if I just step to the side a bit I might be able to find a new path that seems more suitable. We can never be afraid to step to the side for a minute. Sometimes our lives require it. I like the idea that all directions are open to us. There may come a time in your life that you need to go backwards, perhaps you missed the off ramp you were supposed to take. Life isn’t some back road with two lanes; you can go in any direction you want. I think that we often times make decisions that take us places we didn’t want to end up because we were afraid to explore other options. We were afraid to be open and honest with ourselves and the people around us. We are all too often too afraid of listening to ourselves. Every person has a little voice they tend to tune out from time to time in favor of other external influences. This can be a dangerous thing that causes you to wake up one day and not like the person you are. You may be the most popular kid in high school but absolutely hate yourself for it. We all have it in us to be strong and make decisions that lighten our hearts. If you find yourself at a crossroads and all the people of the world are telling you to go forward you may still need to step aside for a minute and think. Here is my wish that will never come true. I wish that anytime I had to make a decision in my life that I had the strength to ask some simple questions and tell myself the truth. Will this make me healthier; will this make me happier; in ten years will I regret this; in ten years will I remember this; and will this make the people around me better for it. None of us have the strength to ask those questions every time. So maybe just ask yourself one easy one; would I want to tell my family about this. It seems simple because it is, in theory. Just try to do things that enhance the lives of the people around you. That’s how you move forward. It’s all about personal responsibility. I don’t really believe in destiny as much as I believe in purpose. Take responsibility for your actions and try to ask every day if you have done something to better yourself or the people around you. So that’s what I’m going to try (and fail some days) to do.