Stress

  Words and actions have some things in common. You can't take them back. Whenever you say or do something without thinking it through people tend to get hurt. I've been under some strain the last couple of weeks. My head is filled with stress and regret and my body is hurting and it's all just starting to hit me at once. I've had a headache for a couple days, my stomach has ached for days, my wrist hurts bad enough I find it difficult to get my shoes and pants on and off. My thinking isn't as clear as it should be.
  Several days ago I had been so stressed, hot, and busy that I didn't realize I was so hungry I almost cried, by the time I finally ate and got some water in me I almost threw up. I wasn't thinking and taking care of myself and now my mind and body are still suffering the consequences. If we don't take care of ourselves then it will cause problems in all parts of our lives. While being stressed, dehydrated, and hungry I made some mistakes that caused damage to some equipment. During the recovery of that equipment 8 people got sent to the hospital. This has and me stressed and a bit depressed even more.
  This turns into problems in our relationships. I've been fairly surly ever since it happened. I've tried my best to just be left alone which has ultimately caused other people to do more work. I've been a hard person to be around lately and it all started with me not taking care of myself. Now I'm ill, injured, sore, and kind of left alone all because I let things snowball instead of simply taking care of myself.
  Now we're down another person when we were already short the people who went to the hospital. This isn't fair to everyone and could have been prevented. I have been short, rude, and downright mean over the last few days. I don't like this side of myself at all, in fact I think this guy I'm acting like right now is pretty much just a d**k. It might take me a couple days for me to get back to normal and it all could have been prevented.
  The way we treat our body is absolutely connected to every other aspect of our lives including our relationships. When you don't take care of your self you aren't just hurting you, you're taking a chance at injuring your relationships with the people around you. As usual it's the ones we love the most who get the crap end of this deal. Because they are the ones around us they get to watch us treat ourselves like crap and then get to feel hurt when we treat them no better.
  Just a few days of me not taking care of myself have had catastrophic results. I'm a work in progress but I wish my progress was a little faster. I have someone who is not only willing to listen and be a shoulder but actually wants me to talk to her about what's stressing me out and why. This is actually another way of taking care of ourselves that I personally don't do well enough.
   I don't have any scientific evidence but I'm pretty sure it's healthier to talk to someone than to hold it in. It's healthier for your relationship as well. I've always held as much in as I could because I just thought that's what you're supposed to do. I wish I was more open about what's bothering me but it's an incredibly difficult habit to break. It's important that I do though. When we love and trust each other we need to make the effort to improve our habits. We need to make the effort to lay our stresses out for our loved ones to see.
  I've always just assumed that me sharing what's bothering me would bother, burden, or stress her out and I just didn't see the point in both of us being bothered by it. I'm slowly learning that having someone to share that with will keep you healthier though. If I'm holding it in and not sharing then not only am I not taking care of myself but I'm creating stress and injury on her because she knows I'm stressed and wants to know why I'm not telling her about it. This causes physical and emotional damage not only to me but to her as well. So now I'm tired, injured, ill, stressed, angry, and in turn treating everyone around me poorly which means I'm injuring other people. This isn't fair to anyone, it's selfish as hell.