Letting Go

I haven’t been on here in a bit; I guess I’ve been in my own head a bit. I have a lot coming up. I’m going to Kansas to visit my brother and his family when he gets back from Iraq. I have my third deployment coming up very quickly as well. Of course there’s that Christmas thing happening.  I’ve been trying to focus on some cool stuff I might get to do. If all goes well this next year I will be able to go hiking in the Alps, the Balkans, and possibly the Hindu Kush mountains. Not sure about the last one but I’m hoping. That’s all I can do any more is hope. I’ve decided to let go and just hope things happen instead of trying to make them happen. It seems the more I push things to be the way I want them to be or I try to make things happen then the less happy I am. I recently got into really being concerned about what’s going to happen in my future. How is this next year going to go for me? Will I come home a whole person? Will I be able to save up enough money? Will I get a job when I come home? Will I ever meet someone? It’s pretty nerve racking and I decided to just let go. It’s not up to me what happens and I can’t force it so I should just quit worrying about it. Right now I’m focusing on my hopes. I hope while I’m in Germany I have enough time to hike the Alps. I hope while I’m in Bulgaria I have time to hike the Balkans and swim in the Black Sea. I hope while I’m in Afghanistan I get to see the Hindu Kush range. I hope that I can always remember that there is no night without the day. I’ve had a pretty cool life and it seems like it’s just gonna keep on going! For every dark hour I’ve ever had in my life I have always endured knowing that while I may not always be able to predict or control it I can always persevere and come out the other side wiser and happier.