Adrenaline

People in the military and other dangerous jobs tend to live life faster. They fall in love faster, get bad habits faster, make decisions faster. They tend to care less about social acceptance or social consequences. Mostly perhaps due to the very real threat of a shortened life span. Many of the men and women I know have had not one but several friends die far too young. Seeing people your age or younger die on a regular basis tends to activate a certain sense of responsibility to live life as fully as possible. We develop a why wait attitude. If there is something we want to have or do and we are capable then we tend to make our best efforts to accomplish this regardless of social convention or what we will be thought of. This isn't because we don't care what we are thought of, quite the opposite. We want people to know that we lived life, that we enjoyed it and made it our own adventure. We are not okay with believing life is a ride. That would suggest that we have no control. We idealize our lives. We indulge in happiness. We move forward after setbacks and we get make every effort to get up when we fall. You see, when we are gone we hope that we are remembered not simply as someone who enjoyed life. We want to be remembered as someone who struggled with life, someone who fought life, someone who turned life into a grand adventure and conquered as much life as was ours to have. We want to be remembered for helping others live life, helping the people of this world enjoy not just our lives but their own. We may be called adrenaline junkies, crazy, weird, insane, dangerous, or many other names by people who simply don't understand the importance of living an adventure. The adventure is more important than money, class, clothes, or any other superficial artifact that average people recognize immediately as something of substance. The thing is this world with the most substance has no actual physical presence. Joy, pure joy. It's a thing that's found in the eyes of lovers looking at each other. It's found in people with passion. Without passion life will be simply life. It's a word I find boring by itself. When it's called the adventure of life it sounds like something I want to experience. That's how it should be seen, as something to experience not something to simply do. Find a partner and live an adventure with passion. It's not a secret but it only seems obvious to very few. The people who risk their lives are the ones who cherish them the most. The people who live an adventure are the ones who know most what they have to lose and that's what makes it exciting. You don't have to go to war, BASE jump, or cliff dive to have passion and excitement but you do have to have passion and excitement to know what life has to offer. Don't live a boring life; travel at every opportunity, try new things, eat strange foods, love someone more than you love yourself.

Good Reasons

I don't know who decided you have to do things for yourself. The idea that you have to be the reason you improve is simple and asinine. A woman can and sometimes should be the reason a man does things. Sometimes it's the only reason and that's fine. It's how it should be. That's like saying a father or mother shouldn't change their behavior because they became a parent. They'll all tell you you're crazy. If a person is in love with another person then they're going to make changes in their life and personality. It's a natural occurrence and all these shitty self help books have made it a bad thing. A single man is going to act much differently than a man in a relationship. A man in a relationship is going to change many of his behaviors. It's out of respect and anyone who isn't willing to change for the person they love is selfish and probably not in love. If you believe that the only reason a person should quit drugs or some other destructive behavior is for themselves and not because they're in love with someone who it's hurting then you've bought into this ridiculous idea. Changing and bettering yourself for someone you love isn't depending on them, it's not being so weak and dependent that you can't do it on your own, it's showing that the other person is important to you. If you can't do it on your own then having someone as a reason important enough is good. Changing for a spouse, children, or other loved one isn't weakness, it's finding where your strength is. It upsets me that people have come to believe the lie that it's bad to need someone. We are built to need each other. Humans are communal creatures and naturally inclined to love and be faithful. Despite what you might see or hear on NatGeo men aren't built to be promiscuous that's why it eats at a man's soul when he is. We are meant to have a woman we love and that woman is our reason for many of our behaviors. We need to have a reason for the things we do and we need to have a reason to change the things we do. Whatever crackpot started the theory that this is bad has ruined many men. I'm either unwilling or unable to change my behaviors on my own. I act a certain way because it's what I'm used to and when I have a reason to act differently then my behavior will change. Men and women please take note, if you are the reason a person improves themselves then you are loved and needed. Don't pressure yourselves, it's about love and it's a good thing despite what we've been told by self help gurus.

A lesson about the princess.

Princesses are the beginning of a relationship but not the final goal.  A princess is not allowed to make decisions, a princess does not demand equality, a princess does not require the level of commitment that a queen does. The image of a princess brings forth the thoughts of a woman trapped and waiting on a prince to save her. When a man begins a relationship with a woman he should most definitely treat her like a princess.  He should rescue her from whatever life she was living and show her that he can give her a better one.  A man should be the prince that rescues the princess.  At some point along the way though the man should begin to realize that he should begin to act like a king instead of a prince and as such treat the woman he loves as a queen instead of a princess.  A man can’t truly believe that the woman he loves is helpless and in need of rescuing forever. You should begin to realize that you are on a journey together and should treat your significant other as such. A queen is expected to make decisions, to contribute, to be a pillar of support, to be a partner. In contrast a princess isn’t required or expected to be any of these things. A princess is only asked to be present and be grateful. If this is what you expect for too long a period then the whole relationship is doomed. While many men are programmed to be the prince there aren’t many men who have been taught how to be a king.  Our society could be much better served if men were taught how to be the king with a queen by their side rather than just the prince rescuing the princess.  Yes, the prince is an important step in the process but if the prince doesn’t have the ability to grow into the king then the princess will be stifled without the ability to grow into a queen.  Without the ability to become a partner in the relationship the woman will eventually begin to resent the man for holding her back.  This is why I say you can’t keep treating a woman like a princess. Girls are princesses, women are queens.  The difference may seem small but it’s actually quite large.