Leadership

I’ve been reflecting on life lately.  I’ve been thinking about where I am in life and where I wish I was and as luck would have it the two are mutually exclusive.  I enjoy where my life is and where it seems to be headed but it’s certainly not where I saw myself as a child.  I could blame all my past mistakes or all the lessons not learned.  I could blame it on listening to the wrong people but the truth is that I have never been where I thought I was and would wager I’m not today either.  Okay, geographically I know exactly where I am but metaphorically speaking I probably am nowhere near where I think I am.  As I look back on my life and think about where I was at different phases in it I realize that I never had a clue about where I actually was.  I always saw myself as a leader, I was cool, I was funny, I was popular.  None of those things make a leader, they are more conducive to a follower.  Don’t get me wrong, leaders can possess all of those qualities but people who focus on those qualities are not leaders.  People who want to be cool and popular tend to make their decisions based on what others will think of them.  Those are the people who choose their clothing, activities, what they say, their jobs, basically everything based on what others will think about it.  Those people are followers, slaves to public opinion and popularity.  A true leader will make their choices based on what they actually enjoy doing.  A true leader will make decisions based on what’s right not what’s cool or easy.  The funny thing is that a lot of people who weren’t cool or popular in high school become very much so in college and beyond.  Being a part of the herd is not always cool, sometimes you have to make choices that are not popular because they are the right choices.  When I look back in 20 years I’m positive that I will laugh at myself for ever having worried about where I am now.  I don’t know where I’ll be in 20 years but I’m sure it’s where I’m supposed to be and hopefully I can remember from now on that I’m not really cool or popular, I’m just a guy trying to make the right choices.

Patriotism

Well, today I have been thinking a lot about the occasional patriot.  You know them, the holiday blow hard, that drunken and boisterous guy who on holidays decides to tell everyone how great America is.  I get a ton of emails around the big patriot days.  Why don’t I get any emails telling me how terrible the Japanese are around December 7 or why isn’t February 23 “Punch a Mexican Day”?  That was the first day of the siege of the Alamo for you non-patriots!  How about “Shoot a Yankee Day” April 12^th, or “Kick a Brit Day” April 19^th (Fort Sumter and Lexington/Concorde)?  Here’s the deal, I’m glad that people want to be patriots and appreciate our service men and women.  What I don’t want is to be bombarded with emails about what happened and where I was when.  I was laying on my couch nursing a hangover by drinking a beer when it happened.  If you want to be a patriot on just a couple of days a year that’s great, cook a burger on July 4^th, but leave me alone on 9/11 please.  If you want to be a holiday patriot do our service people a favor and go to the airport in Bangor, Maine.  They have a group of full time volunteers that spend 8 hour days there shaking the hands of returning members of the military.  Go to Camp Shelby, Mississippi and say good-bye to the young men and women who are leaving and may not get to come back through Bangor.  If your thoughts are to pick a day to express your political beliefs wait until it gets a little closer to voting time.  Don’t get me wrong, I would never want to belittle anyone’s sense of patriotism or pride.  It’s a great thing; it just gets a little exhausting sometimes to be on this side of it.  I remember being on the other side and swelling with pride for my family members on those special days.  On this side of it I get humbled when people express such pride and gratitude.  I also get disappointed on occasions as well.  My first deployment the sendoff was full of pomp and ceremony, there were parades, proud families, and strangers were all around to see the heroes on their way.  The second deployment had families everywhere crying, mothers sad to send off their little boys and girls for the first time.  My last deployment I said my good-byes to my family and went to work, those of us leaving got on a bus and went to the airport as a few people in uniform watched us drive away.  I love to see the pride that most people have in being an American, but when a years’ worth comes out on only a couple of days it gets exhausting.  I’m not asking anyone to not remember what happened, what I’m asking is that you remember those who struggle on a daily basis with the loss of friends.  I didn’t know anyone in those towers or anyone who was at the Pentagon that day.  I have known people since then who didn’t return to their families.  I have known people who came home with fewer body parts than they left with, severe depression, mental disorders, and many other problems.  On a daily basis the majority of people in the military don’t even remember September 11^th, we remember other days.  My wish isn’t to ask people to not be patriots, my wish is that people would be patriots every day.  Visit a veteran’s hospital, donate time and or money to Operation Homefront, Wounded Warriors, or Disabled American Veterans.  We as members of the military ALWAYS appreciate the thanks and love of the citizens of our nation.  I would never want anyone to think otherwise, but please remember that there are those in your own community who still won’t have their legs, arms, eyes, etc. tomorrow either. 

Dreaming

I have been spending a lot of time dreaming lately.  I’ve been dreaming of going backpacking when I get home, I love being out in the woods.  I haven’t been able to go camping or doing anything more than day hikes in a few years.  It’s the whole idea of getting away from civilization that draws me in.  I don’t live in a city and while I see some social benefits to it, I personally don’t find it appealing.  I’ve always wondered why more people don’t venture out into the wilderness on their days off.  For me and my puppies it’s the best part of the week.  When I did live in a city I felt cramped, one of the things that made me feel better was the greenway system.  I would take the dogs out to the greenway and the national battlefield almost daily.  Over the years the woods have become more and more solitary, this is good for me because I like being out there by myself (and the puppies) but it seems a bad omen for children.  I have taken my daughter out on trails for a couple hours at time before and she seemed to enjoy it.  Like I said I enjoy the solitude but on some level I think it would also be nice to see parents taking their kids on day hikes and going camping.  I really wish more people would get into it.  Not everyone is cut out for one and two week excursions into the wild but there are so many parks and battlefields and greenways that everyone should be able to enjoy the outdoors on a weekly basis.  It’s therapeutic, it makes your whole day better which in turn makes other peoples' day better which then causes less fighting and then there is world peace.  I just wish I could see a more active society.  Adults get so busy with their jobs which they have decided are actually their lives, this trickles down to the children who in turn become serial killers.  Kids don’t even pass notes in class anymore, they text each other.  Skype and Facebook have taken the place of walking down the block to visit a friend.  I have actually seen two grown men in the same room have a conversation over instant message.  Is it so terrible to walk outside?  Our busy adult lives have attributed to lazy, depressed, overweight children.  The worst part is just that these children have become normal, overweight children are normal.  I am not exaggerating when I say that weekend walks in the woods can cure diabetes, probably not type 1 but who knows.  It obviously takes more than just a couple miles in the woods on a Saturday but it’s a start.  If we can begin to teach our children how important the outdoors are and how beautiful nature is it might just change their outlook on life as they grow up.  I dream of taking my dogs on hikes and trips.  I can’t wait to stand on the summit of a 14K peak in Colorado with them.  I realize this isn’t for everyone, I’m just suggesting that if everyone would do more walking in the woods that all of the problems of the world could be fixed.  You hear that?  Walking in the woods could possibly cure cancer and end world hunger, stop being lazy and complacent America!!!!

Perspective

It’s funny how most times our worth (both internal and external) is derived from or reflected in the people we choose to surround ourselves with.  Old sayings abound with the wisdom of birds of a feather.  What used to inspire people to seek betterment through befriending people they wanted to emulate has over the years been more interpreted by some to not reach too high.  When I was younger the people I spent the most time hanging around were the people I thought I was worthy of being around when I should have been choosing the people I wanted to be more like.  I had a very low sense of self-worth.   I felt I wasn’t good enough to be around a better class of people.  This attitude was also reflected for the most part in the girls I dated in college.  I let many great women go because I was afraid I might ruin her, I didn’t want people to see these girls with me and think less of them.  As I got older I began to realize the folly in this.  I have always been a person with a good heart even if I didn’t see it.  There have always been people around me who had faith in me and knew the type of person I had the potential to be.  Perspective is a very weird thing, while I had always thought I wasn’t good enough to hang around certain people or date certain women these friends always seemed to have this sad feeling because they knew I was too good to be hanging around the people I did.  It’s a difficult thing to look at yourself and give an honest assessment.  In my eyes my brothers are still these giant men that make me feel just a little bit smaller when I’m around them.  Not in a bad way, just that being the youngest and smallest growing up that’s just how I still see myself around them.  You can’t judge yourself necessarily by the company you keep either.  While you look around and think you are surrounded by people better than you there may be someone out there who thinks you are better than anyone else.  I don’t know how to fix self-image; if I did I’d be rich.  All I know is that the right perspective can change everything.  Instead of choosing the people you think you are worthy of try to choose the people that you wish you could be a little bit more like.  Remember that people see what they want to see, some may see your heart, others may see your past, and others still may see your potential.